So let’s start at the beginning. Your beginnings. No, not the beginning of your marriage, the beginnings of learning to relate to other people. In other words, your families of origin. Some folks pooh-pooh family of origin as psychobabble. But I assure you it’s a very real force in our lives. Lori and I have seen it in our own marriage, and in the marriages of many we have coached.

Your family taught you how to interact; how to treat others, and how to talk to others. If you had two parents, including a stepparent, you also learned how marriage works. Most of this teaching came from what you saw. If what you were taught and saw were different, what you saw had a more profound effect. And because your parents were imperfect, some of what you learned from them was less than healthy.

If we could see and admit the truth about anything wrong we got from our family, we could let it go and move on. But we tend to accept how we lived growing up as how life is. We also tend to be protective of our parents, which can keep us from admitting the truth that some of what they said and did was hurtful, harmful, or sin.

The Bible commands us to honour our parents. But neither lying nor covering for them are what God intended. Being honest about them is honouring God, even when the truth isn’t pretty.

So this week, I want you to think about the messages your family gave you about marriage and family. Ask the Lord to help you see His truth as I kick over a few stones.

SURVEY: Who are you?

The first survey will be for me to get to know my audience. There will also be a place to tell me what you hope to read in the coming months.

You will be asked for an optional identity code that I will use to track individuals across multiple surveys. It will never be published and will only be used to link your answers. If you don’t want to link answers to any particular survey, you can leave it off that one. If you and your spouse are both reading, it would be helpful if you both entered the same code.

~ This is Paul, reminding you that every marriage is different

After some warmish weather and a lot of rain, our upper terrace is snow free!

Still waiting for the garden to clear. And we need to slog out to the greenhouse to see how things faired there. 

It’s not spring, but it’s encouraging! 

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Lori Byerly
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.