.

Another source of marriage drift is friendships.

Friends are important for us, and for our marriages. Having close friends correlates with a longer life. And a good friend will encourage your marriage in various ways.

But friends can also have negative effects on our lives and our marriages.

Studies find having a number of divorced fiends increases your odds of getting divorced. I’m not suggesting you should ditch a friend because they divorce, but if most of your close friends are divorced, that should be a concern. Are you more comfortable with divorced individuals? If so, why?

Beyond that, what matters to our friends effects us. What they say and do affects us. If most of your girlfriends talk bad about men, that will impact how you feel about your husband. If most of your guy friends think of woman as little more than a source of sex, that will influence how you feel about your wife.

If you were convinced you had to choose between a friend or a group of friends and your spouse, I’m sure you would choose your spouse. The problem is, we don’t usually see the choice, even when that is the situation.

BTW, if your spouse has a problem with one or two of your friends, odds are they see something you don’t. Even if that’s not true, what they feel should matter enough to significantly limit contact with a friend they dislike.

~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.

Despite the deer damage last fall, we’re getting a moderate crop of strawberries.

They are running a bit small because they’re not getting enough water. But I will be putting in a watering system for them, which will help.

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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