Podcast: https://bit.ly/4fcIYKm
So why would someone upset about a problem in their marriage focus on a different problem, real or imagined, that has nothing to do with what bothers them?
One reason is not knowing what is bothering you. Your marriage isn’t right, and you know that. But you can’t figure out what’s wrong. So you attack various things that might be wrong to try to find the issue. Or perhaps you attack unrelated, smaller issues because at least it means you’re doing something.
Unfortunately, blind shooting rarely scores a hit on the target. Moving from issue to issue can wear you down and frustrate your spouse.
Another reason you may not know what the problem is, is because you have bought into the story your culture tells you about marriage. If you think your spouse is supposed to be a certain way, and they are not, that will become a marriage issue. But if what you expect is not who God called your spouse to be, the problem is not your spouse. So while you think you know what’s wrong, you are missing the truth.
Cultural expectations about men, women, and marriage can make a mess of your life and your relationship with your spouse. This is true even if your spouse agrees with your wrong expectation.
If you can’t find the issue that is making you unhappy about your marriage, a bit of coaching might help. Or maybe buddy up with an older couple who seem to have worked it out.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
Got the turkey yard done. Because they can fly, we had to cover the top.
They were far less afraid than chickens, and moments after we opened the door they were out pecking at weeds and chasing bugs.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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