Podcast: https://bit.ly/3VkYcnq
Yesterday I asked if you ever try to get attention from your spouse with negative behaviour. Today, let’s talk about being on the receiving end of negative attention seeking.
If your spouse is doing this, the odds are high you brought it on by failing to give them as much attention as they want. So they have turned to yelling, drama, or conflict. If that doesn’t get the desired attention, they may turn to treating you badly in public, or flirting with others. Or worse.
Don’t reject this as blaming the victim. What I’m suggesting is that your spouse is the victim, and has chosen a bad way of dealing with that. Getting attention in negative ways is not a habit you want to encourage by giving attention to stop the bad behaviour. The solution is to give your spouse the attention they need. Not in response to negative things, but in general.
If you find yourself in this situation, it probably means you think our spouse doesn’t need as much attention as they feel they need. Are you too busy to give them what they need? Are you punishing them for something? Or have you just stopped caring for them as you once did? Understanding why you’re not giving them enough attention will help you make the changes necessary to fix the issue.
If you think your spouse expects more attention than they deserve from you, your marriage has a big problem. I’d suggest you get help before it’s too late. It might be you, and it might be them, but it’s an issue that will do great harm to your marriage.
~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well requires paying attention to your spouse.
You know you’re in a rural town when:
I was getting coffee at the grocery store in Deer Park when someone came over the loudspeaker and said, “Diane, your pumpkins are here.” I heard cheers from both employees and patrons. It took five guys with a lift gate and a palette jack an hour to unload them. And more than a few were sold during that time.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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