Podcast: https://bit.ly/4yQHsXN
Another quote from Jay Stringer:
I’ve become increasingly convinced that many marital conflicts are sustained less by incompatibility than by a loss of integrity.
This ties into part of yesterday’s quote about spouses engaging in withdrawal, contempt, emotional reactivity, or control because they are not receiving the response they most desire.
I’ve talked about this as what we think we deserve. When our spouse fails to give us what we think we deserve, we get upset. Then we feel justified in treating our spouse in ways we know, deep down, are wrong. It’s as if entitlement gives us permission to lower our standards. As Jay says, this is a loss of integrity.
Integrity is vital in a marriage. If your spouse doesn’t show integrity, you can’t trust them. And when you can’t trust your spouse, your marriage is in big trouble. What’s more, lowering integrity is a vicious spiral. One of you lowers integrity as a reaction to something, and that causes the other spouse to do the same thing.
True integrity has nothing to do with what others around you are doing. You don’t excuse something you do in business as “industry standard”. Likewise, you don’t excuse treating your spouse poorly as justified by their actions.
A man or woman of integrity does what is right simply because it is right. They do what is right when no one else is watching and when those watching think their actions don’t make sense.
So I ask you, how would God have you treat your spouse? And how well are you doing at treating them that way?
BTW, when asked what attracted me to my wife, I have always said her integrity. I knew that she would do what she said. I knew she would do what was right. And I knew she would fight to do those things even when it was difficult. She has been that woman for 41.6 years, and it’s a big part of why we have such a great marriage.
~ This is Paul, and you can’t Do Marriage Well without integrity.
This is why we don’t stick our face in yellow jacket nests!
She was fine by bedtime.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
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