Podcast: https://bit.ly/4oqVeuW
Today, a different kind of parental label that can mess up our lives and marriages. This one doesn’t seem negative. It may seem very supportive. But when you mislabel someone, you harm them. Even if you act in love.
Think of the high school boy who is playing football because his father is trying to relive his glory days. Of the girl who is all about ballet because mom would love for her to become the famous dancer that mom tried and failed to become. They are trying to live out a dream that is not their dream, and it keeps them from being who God intended them to be.
Perhaps the child showed an initial interest in the endeavour, and an excited parent pushed too hard. Or maybe it was all the parent. Either way, enthusiasm and encouragement became a label they could not escape.
Other examples of this are the mother who wants her son to be a doctor, or the dad who wants his only daughter to become a mother of many children. It might be expecting a child to follow you and join the military, or take over the family business.
If you see this playing out in your life, you can deal with it. If you see it in your spouse’s life, it will take some gentle, loving discussion to help them see it.
If you realise you have followed a path that was not your path, there are no easy solutions. But trying to be who your mother or father wanted you to be will slowly crush your soul, and harm your marriage along the way.
~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well requires being you.
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Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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