Podcast: https://bit.ly/3K9dNnI
Our sexuality is a powerful and deeply personal thing. This means the desire to be seen and acknowledged sexually can be very strong. It is behind some sexual sin, and a contributing factor to much more. It also leads to some poor choices and bad behaviour in marriages.
Let’s start by realising our sexuality was created by God. Misusing it is wrong, but desiring to express it and have it acknowledged is not. That means part of the answer to sexual issues, caused by wishing to be seen, is to find a proper way to see and acknowledge both the desire and what lies behind it.
Flirting outside marriage is often an attempt to be seen and acknowledged. It comes from a need to prove we are desirable. This is why some folks flirt all the time but never do anything more; the attention is enough. Of course, it’s an inappropriate and dangerous game.
Husbands and wives who are often told no when they seek sex feel this important part of who they are is being denied. This is why it hurts so much.
But there is far more to it than being told no. It’s not just having sex. We want to be seen and appreciated sexually. Our spouse just going through the motions doesn’t make us feel seen. We want our spouse to be eager and engaged, as that acknowledges our sexually.
There is also a desire to know we’re good lovers. We want to be thanked for what we do sexually for our spouse. We want to hear when it’s especially good.
What can make all of this difficult is wrong teaching that makes it difficult for us to talk about sex, or admit to enjoying it. We do see and appreciate our spouse’s sexuality, but we are unable to express that.
Don’t be shy, speak up!
~ This is Paul, and Doing Sex Well can be very healing.
The well that feeds our pond via a solar-powered pump is getting low, but it’s not dry yet!
Good thing; Widget sure loves the pond!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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