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Today’s marriage freedom is The Freedom to Grow… and Change!
No matter how old you were when you got married, you and your spouse were still “growing up”. Growing up is a lifelong process. It tends to be faster at younger ages. External situations can also cause significant growing up, with having a child being a big one.
In the early years of adulthood, we’re all trying to figure out who we are, navigating career paths, and figuring out how to build deep relationships. We juggle work, family, and social obligations to adjust to our changing lives.
In midlife it’s common to become less concerned about what others think and to move away from people-pleasing. This can change our priorities and may shift friendships.
We don’t just grow up; we grow as people, and we grow in our faith. We may become more generous or sacrificial or more willing to listen to different ideas.
The reality is people change all the time. Much of it is slow, but sometimes it is, or at least seems, sudden. For a marriage to be good, this growth must be shared in real time and processed. It will sometimes mean making little adjustments, and at other times, it could mean making very big adjustments. It might call for sacrifice or for rethinking priorities.
The freedom to grow and change means our spouse feels no need to hide how they are changing. This allows us to adapt. Or, if necessary, to ask questions or even lovingly challenge what is happening.
Lori and I have dealt with couples who had grown so far apart they no longer had a marriage. And neither felt willing or even able to bridge the gap. Sometimes one spouse being spectacularly unaware was a factor, but usually a spouse undergoing significant change said nothing until the change was complete. This is usually because they don’t feel the freedom to be different.
Giving the freedom to grow and change will keep you close.
~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well means embracing change.
The turkeys are growing fast!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
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