One of the risks of sharing our stories is that they will be used against us. Dismissing your spouse by telling them what they are doing or feeling now is just because of their story is a deep betrayal.
You may well be able to see how something today flows from or is being shaped by your spouse’s story. Please use that information to help them. It should affect what you say and do in certain situations. It should also let you know when your spouse needs to be pampered or given something that relaxes them or makes them feel loved.
If you have a great deal of trust, you can grant permission to be asked if something is being influenced by the other’s story. Be gentle, and ask, don’t tell. And don’t push if they say, “No, it’s not that.” If they say you’re right, ask if you can help. If the answer is no, give a hug and move on.
From the other side, as you become more aware of your own story, you will see how it sometimes pushes you to do something that confuses or hurts your spouse. Saying, “I’m sorry, I’m reacting out of my story” doesn’t make that okay, but it can make grace and forgiveness easier.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that every marriage is different
If you know what this is, you’re excited for us.
Last year we proved we can grow a lot of food. Now we have a freeze drier to help us preserve it. And yes, that’s Skittles – they puff up when freeze-dried and the grandkids can’t wait.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.
